Emily (desalete) wrote in bipolar_so,

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Just desperate, rhetorical venting.

Background: Community members see this entry.

I hate bipolar! My last boyfriend was severely mentally ill; with what, only god knows. He was abusive and massively depressed. Now, this one. He's good most of the time, but when he goes into funks he shuts down and just wants me to leave. I feel hurt and cry, and he doesn't care. He just yells at me. I suffer from moderate depression, for which I take 112.5 mg daily of Effexor. He's thought since his mid-teens that he was bipolar, and the first psychiatrists to see him agreed, and had him on medications for it for awhile, but his last psych was an ass who took him off them and ruined him. I can't stand it when I hurt so badly and he won't even spoon me to sleep, hell, won't even put an arm around me. He doesn't want to watch me cry, he just wants to play on his computer. And I'm not like this much, I can assure you. I just need him when I am, and he shuts down emotionally. Not every time, but when he does, it makes it hurt so much more.

What can I do? I can't handle this, but I can't give up on the rest of him.... He refuses to see another psych, convinced that there's "nothing" wrong with him.
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